Are you kidding me?

I’m no supermodel. I carry a few extra kgs around the middle area for those emergency situations. That zombie attack when I’ll need to carry my own food (hence the spare tyre around the belly) as I escape the “Hot Zone” in hope of finding that promised “Safe Zone”. Yeh, I know, with that much extra padding I won’t be able to outrun me mate and will be the first die. Anyway, back to the story …

I’m not that large that people look at me with the “Oh that poor girl” eyes. So, why is it that some fast food places’ toilets are so small that I must back up to get in there. This happened to me again the other day at the Golden Arches.

I was busting to pee so I’m rushing to get to the deposit site ASAP. I open the cubicle door and race in only to realise I couldn’t turn around to close the door. I had 2 choices:

1. Straddle the toilet and then perform a half upper body turn or
2. Go back out and reserve in.

Of course, I chose the most difficult option.

I straddle the toilet with my legs brushing the side of the toilet and the wall at the same time. I then raised my handbag above my head as there was no sideways room with this fancy move. I twist at the waist and throw my other arm around praying that it hits the door closed. The door is now closed which means I can shuffle my way back off from straddling the toilet and start the final movement of spinning around to face the right direction.

Again, the handbag goes above the head and this time my other arm joins it as I do the most ungraceful turn you have ever seen. Image a really drunk lass on the nightclub dance floor at 3am thinking she is nailing the moves to Flashdance but in reality, it’s a train wreck. The turn is done, the door is locked and I’m ready to let the waterfall flow. Now what do I do with my handbag, there is nowhere to put it so how do I get my dacks down with just one arm in a confined space. Well that’s a story for another day.

As a society our waistlines are getting bigger (not a good thing but is the reality) so why the “f” are the toilet cubicles getting smaller?